The Gamers: Dorkness Rising (The Novel) Read online

  Lodge continued on into the room he referred to as his study, home to a cheap bookshelf and a small computer desk. The notes stuck to his monitor had been there so long he no longer noticed them as he turned on the power.

  The document looked the same as it had last night. And the night before. And the night before that.

  The Mask Of Death

  By Kevin Lodge

  Chapter 1

  Because, of course, he hadn’t been able to write dick. Possibly, he thought, because Cass is such a dick!

  “D-i-c-k” Lodge typed. He started at it for a moment, then erased it and retyped it, in italics. As he glared at the monitor, his angry reverie was broken by the ringing of the phone. This time of night? It could only be Gary. Lodge picked up the phone and pressed the button to answer it. Raising the handset to his ear, he moaned “Diii-iiiii-iiii-iiick!”

  Gary held the phone out and looked at it for a second in confusion, then raised it back to his ear. “God!” he exclaimed. “I don’t know why that keeps happening! Listen, we need two more players.”

  Lodge could hear Leo and Cass in the background. Seriously? Were they still at the store playing games?

  “Dude, I’ve got work in the morning”

  “No, Dick, for your campaign. It’s why we keep dying. We need a more well-rounded party. There’s only so much damage three mad hombres can do, right?”

  For a moment, Lodge considered the logic. Perhaps adding different players could tip the balance… He was skeptical, but supposed it couldn’t hurt. In the background, he heard dice, and the sound of Cass exclaiming “Buh-BYE Caesar. Didn’t see that one coming, didja?”

  “Are you guys still gaming?” he asked Gary.

  “We’re playing Time Felons. You get to go back through time and … and beat the crap out of historical figures. I…I totally bushwhacked Lincoln!” Gary exulted.

  “Don’t you have class in the morning?” Lodge asked incredulously.

  “Yeah, in like five hours, why?”

  The sounds of the game continued unabated. “Take that, Jesus!!” Leo cried amid the sound of rolling dice and celebration.

  “Listen, I gotta go – it’s almost my turn.” As Gary hung up the phone, Lodge heard Leo in the background gloating “Who’s the Messiah now?”

  Chapter 4: Aarrrbuck’s

  “I am never going to finish this freaking module.” Lodge took a gulp from the paper coffee cup.

  “Party die again?” Mark asked sympathetically.

  “They don’t try anything new, and then they blame me when they die!” He popped the top off of his coffee cup and hurled it onto the table. “Ungrateful munchkins….” Having created some room in the cup, Lodge filled it with Mountain Doom soda and replaced the lid. “I’m really kind of pissed off.”

  “And that has nothing to do with your writer’s block…” Mark remarked pointedly.

  “I do not have writer’s block!” Lodge said emphatically. He set the soda can on the table with equal emphasis and continued. “I know exactly how the story ends. I just… don’t know how to get there.”

  “Obviously, neither do your players.”

  You’ve got me there, Lodge thought. “How am I supposed to finish a module based on an adventure if we never finish the adventure?” he whined.

  “Just run them through it until they win. Or your head explodes.” Lodge wondered which was likely to occur first.

  “We’re going to start all over again once we have a few new players.” Sure. Except that nobody would play with them. Lodge had called most of his old college friends to see if anyone was open for a game. He had already approached more than a dozen regular players, and none would get anywhere near his group. He couldn’t really blame them – after all, he liked the guys, and look how crazy it made him to game with them.

  Even Miles - who had always been desperate to game with the big-time dungeon crawlers - had given him some lame excuse about being busy at work. A few days later, as Lodge continued to call around desperately for gamers, someone mentioned that Miles was a member of a regular group over at the Wyrmhole. Way to stand by your college pals, Miles.

  Lodge stared at Mark for a moment, remembering their college friends. Mark had gamed in a different circle, but they had run into one another at the gaming store near campus. That’s when it struck him. Mark!

  “Mark!” The word escaped his lips before it had fully registered on his mind. “Mark, why don’t you join? I mean, you used to game all the time in college!

  Mark froze briefly, and quietly replied, “I haven’t gamed since… the Incident.”

  “Total party wipeout?” Lodge had heard something about it – a girl in their dorm had been mad about the noise, the game had been interrupted somehow – but he wasn’t really sure of the details. Just that Mark was the only member of their group that had ever been seen on campus again.

  “Like you can’t even imagine” Mark mumbled bleakly. A shadow fell over his face as he gazed sightlessly into the past, his party’s screams as clear in his mind as if it had been yesterday. No, Mark would not be joining the crew.

  It took Lodge a moment to realize that it was a genuine shadow that had fallen over Mark’s face. Cass had sauntered up while they spoke, looming over their table and blocking the sun.

  “Hey, Cass,” Lodge said without enthusiasm.

  “Lodge,” Cass acknowledged. “Mark!” he said, shaking Mark’s hand. “I haven’t seen you in forever. It’s like I forget you even exist…”

  “I get that a lot” Mark acknowledged without rancor.

  For a moment, both men’s faces were quizzical. Cass, however, had more important topics to discuss than nobodies who didn’t even game any more. He turned to Lodge.

  “Ah - I found one of the newbies.”

  “Do I know him?” Lodge replied.

  “Her. Joanna keeps bugging me to get her involved, so I figure we make her a fighter. It’s easy enough to play.”

  “Joanna?” Lodge repeated dazedly. “Your ex, Joanna?”

  Cass and Joanna had dated for a while in college. Lodge had never understood what a remarkable woman like her was doing putting up with a guy like Cass. He’d always thought she deserved someone more…sensitive. Someone who would value her intellect and compassion and…competence. He was pretty sure Cass didn’t even know she possessed them. It hadn’t surprised him when she had broken up with Cass, but he had never understood why – or how! – she had remained cordial with him. They even still hung out sometimes. Lodge wasn’t really able to imagine what it would be like to hang out with Cass if you were neither dating nor gaming. He wasn’t sure Cass was able to, either.

  Lodges eyes were drawn away from Cass, and he stared enrapt at the fair-haired woman who approached them. “She’ll be joining us…?” Lodge finished.

  “Yes,” Joanna arrived just in time to answer for herself. “Finally,” she said, casting a significant, yet good-natured look at Cass.

  Cass noted Lodge’s odd expression, mistaking it for skepticism. “What’s wrong, Lodge? Never played with a girl before? See you scrubs tomorrow.” He popped the lid off his coffee cup as he finished, bouncing it off Lodge’s forehead, then headed for the door.

  “Apparently, we’re leaving.” Joanna apologized to Lodge. “See you at Leo’s… I’ll try not to slow things down too much.”

  Slow things down... slow things down… Lodge tried to slow his heart down, and suddenly realized that Joanna was leaving and he hadn’t yet spoken a word to her. As Joanna turned to go, he leapt up from his chair, grabbing his backpack. Fortunately, the Player’s Handbook was on top, so it didn’t take him long to find.

  “Oh – it’s...uh… Here… uh….Player’s Handbook. It’s got...uh... all the rules, everything you need to know.” He stammered. You finally opened your mouth, and you can’t even make complete sentences. Gods, you are such an idiot!!

  “Thanks, Kevin!” Joanna replied brightly. “I’ll look it over.” Lodge stared ha
zily after her as she bounded off after Cass. Mark interrupted his reverie.

  “Kevin? Who the hell is Kevin?”

  “I’m Kevin!!” Lodge spat, as annoyed by the question as by the interruption.

  “You have a first name?” Mark wondered aloud. Kevin drank his coffee and smiled to himself. Who cared if Mark knew his name – Joanna had remembered it…

  Chapter 5: A Matter Of Characters

  Joanna stared up at the sign. It read ‘Game Matrix’ in letters crafted to look like an LCD. She wasn’t sure whether she thought it was really cool that Leo was living every day with the things he loved most – or if it was really sad that Leo spent all of his time surrounded by his fantasy world, and didn’t seem to have any life in this world. Maybe a little of both...

  Or maybe she was being a little too judgmental. After all, Leo owned his own business, had good friends – just because she wasn’t aware of him having a girlfriend didn’t mean he wasn’t living a full life. Heck, for all she knew, Leo didn’t even care for girls….

  She shook her head, and realized she was also shaking Cass’s commentaries on his friends out of her mind. She was looking forward to spending time with their old college friends, and maybe even understanding this gaming thing that Cass had obsessed about for as long as she had known him. Cass liked to believe that it was gaming that came between them. It wasn’t, of course, but it was an explanation he could understand. And maybe, if she could understand this side of him… Well – maybe nothing.

  Maybe she had best get inside, if she didn’t want them to start without her. Joanna marched purposefully into the store.

  An employee leaned on the counter, staring into space. Joanna looked down the aisle and saw the door to the back room, just as Cass had described. She strode confidently toward the game room.

  A teenage boy she hadn’t really seen looked up from a gaming book he had been studying. Several more heads popped out from between the various racks and shelves. The employee stood up straight, his eyes following Joanna until she was out of sight. None of them spoke a word, nor dared to breathe too loudly as they studied her, trying to imagine her in the outfits worn by the animated girls in their various favorite anime and video game series.

  Joann entered the back room without realizing she was being followed by a half-dozen pairs of eyes.

  * * * *

  “All right, whatcha got?” she heard Kevin’s familiar voice ask as she neared the doorway.

  “Half breed,” someone answered.

  “Loot the room, or kick in the door?” Kevin queried.

  “Kickin’ down the door,” the other voice announced gleefully as Joanna entered the room.

  “Hey – all right – that’s everybody” Lodge proclaimed, without greeting her. For a moment, Joanna was tempted to be miffed, but she set it aside. She’d heard enough from Cass to know that she wouldn’t get anywhere being girly or dainty about manners. If she had been Cass, that’s exactly how her entrance would have been greeted, right? She decided instead to be glad Lodge had treated her like ‘just one of the guys.’ She looked around the room as she headed for the only open chair. Cass, Leo, Kevin - the other voice had belonged to Gary, whom she vaguely remembered. He’d been a couple of years behind them, and she thought he was probably still in school.

  Leo looked up quizzically as she sat down. “Where’s player number five?” he asked.

  “There is no fifth player,” Lodge answered.

  “You said you were going to get us another player, Lodge.”

  “I asked fifteen people, all regulars. Apparently,” he cast a significant glance in Cass’s direction, “we have a reputation.” Joanna wasn’t sure what that meant, but judging from Kevin’s tone of voice, it wasn’t anything good.

  “What did I tell you?” Cass bragged. “You make one eleven year old cry, and they stop bugging you.” Cass and Gary exchanged a high-five.

  “We still need another player,” Leo pointed out.

  “I’ve taken care of it,” Lodge assured them. “Now, this is a mid-level campaign, so we’ll be starting at 9th level.”

  Cass handed a piece of paper across the Game Master’s screen to Lodge. “Here’s Jo’s character.” God I hate it when he calls me that! Wait… what?!

  “What are you doing?” she asked Cass, infuriated.

  “I made a character for you.”

  “I want to play my own character!”

  “I know,” Cass replied, speaking to her as though she were a child. Again. What an annoying habit. “That’s why I made you one.”

  “You think I can’t make my own character?”

  “Look, it’s nothing personal. You’re going to be our fighter, there are certain requirements you have to meet.”

  “Like what?” As if she weren’t competent enough to read the book and figure out how to make a character for his dumb game.

  “Well,” Cass began. “The fighter has to be the strongest guy in the party…” he said, punctuating the point with an outstretched index finger. Gary mimicked the gesture, waving his finger immediately behind Cass’ as Joanna worked hard to keep from scowling at them both.

  “Has to have a high armor class…” Cass continued, shaking his index finger at her again. Gary held out two fingers, counting off the points as Cass lectured her! Joanna resisted the urge to slap both of their hands.

  “And hit points out the ass.” Shake. Three fingers from Gary. Joanna - Jo - briefly considered breaking Cass’s outstretched finger.

  “And that’s what I made for you.” As if what he had made was somehow innately better than what she had worked so hard on. She had read the instructions, thought it carefully through, and was confident her fighter was as good as his. Well, ok – maybe he did have a few years of gaming on her, but still, it’s not like her fighter would be so bad in comparison.

  He always does this to me – gest me worked up so that I lose my temper and don’t just stop and think! Not any more – I am not going to let him goad me into a fight in front of Kev... in front of all of his gaming buddies! Now, what would be the reasonable thing to do here? Joanna decided the reasonable course would be to look at the character so she could decide which one she thought was better – thoughtfully, and sensibly.

  “Let me see that” she said, not quite managing to sound thoughtful and sensible. She took the character sheet from Lodge and scanned it. “‘Bikini Mail?’”

  “Mm hmm,” Cass murmured, nodding.

  “What the hell is Bikini Mail?” Joanna asked.

  “Only the very best armor a woman can wear!” Cass declared enthusiastically.

  “There’s a picture of it right here!” Gary offered, holding up a fantasy magazine of some sort. Joanna didn’t really notice what it was - her eyes were drawn straight to the image of a busty barbarian wearing some sort of… chainmail bikini. She glowered at it for a moment, debating whether it was worth explaining all of the reasons that the armor was impractical.

  She gave up, dismissing it with a simple “that looks like it chafes” and turning her gaze back to the character sheet Cass had provided. She almost had her temper back under control until…

  “She fights with a broadsword?”

  “Broad….sword…” Cass smirked, smothering a giggle.

  “I get it,” Joanna retorted, sighing at the adolescent humor. She turned her eyes to Lodge imploringly. “Kevin, help me out here.”

  The guys’ eyes all turned to Lodge as Cass repeated “‘Kevin?’”

  “Wait…” Gary stuttered. “Your name is Kevin?”

  Leo stopped working on his character sheet long enough to ask, “You have a first name?”

  Could these guys be any more annoying? Lodge wondered. “Guys, if Joanna made a character, she gets to play it.”

  “I agree with you in principal,” Cass said. He paused, ostensibly to scratch his nose, but mostly to emphasize his next word. “Kevin.” Cass paused again, to be sure the needling took hold. “But she is
new, and I don’t want her to die just because she’s inexperienced.”

  “What makes you think I’m gonna die?” Joanna asked. She was beginning to remember all of the reasons she had broken up with him, and she was pretty sure gaming had nothing to do with it…

  “History. New guy always dies.” Cass said with confidence.

  Gary nodded emphatically while Leo pointedly refused to look up from his character sheet.

  “That is so true.” Gary affirmed. “Remember the time that those halfling pirates made him walk the plank…?”

  “Shut up,” Leo ordered, without looking up.

  “Or that time those gnome shopkeepers ambushed….”

  “Shut up!” Leo interrupted, again without looking up.

  “Or that asthmatic six-year-old princess…”

  Leo looked up then, grabbing the front of Gary’s t-shirt and pulling him partway out of his chair. “Shut UP!!” he growled, as Gary smiled smugly back at him.

  “I flipped through that handbook.” Joanna cut in, hoping to avoid bloodshed. “I think I got the gist of it - it doesn’t seem that hard,” she stated, as Gary stuck his finger in Leo’s ear.

  “OK,” Cass challenged. “Let’s see your character then.” Joanna handed the page to Cass.

  “Uh – what’s your strength bonus?” asked Lodge, as Cass took the sheet of paper.

  “She doesn’t have one,” Joanna replied. “Her highest stat is her intelligence. I put her other bonuses in dexterity and charisma.”

  “Charisma?!” Cass exclaimed incredulously, setting the page down. The three guys waved their hands in the air and derisively squealed “wheeee!”

  “No strength bonus, no constitution bonus. How many hit points does she have?” Cass continued.

  “Let’s see.” Joanna took the sheet back, picking it up from where it lay atop Cass’s books. “45.”

  “Oh… 45 hit points.”

  “Mmm hmm,” Joanna replied, trying to mimic Cass’s response about the broadsword.

  Cass looked at Lodge. “A 9th level fighter with 45 hit points? Oh, yeah, she’s really gonna protect the party.” Lodge looked back and forth from Cass to Joanna, uncertain. Cass was probably right – but Joanna had clearly worked hard on her character and was very proud of it. Hopefully, once the game got going the two of them would cool down a little….